Desire Archetypes ft Janel Vitale

Janel Vitale is a content creator and coach for shame-free relationships and sexual empowerment.

Her purpose is to give people permission and the tools to be more free to be themselves in their love and sex lives. After 14 years in Catholic school, her personal struggle to embrace her unconventional sexuality and relationship orientation as a not-quite-straight, non-monogamous person led her to become a sex and relationship coach.

Now, her passion is empowering others to let go of shame and fear about their desires and communicate openly about their needs and boundaries. Janel holds a BA in Communication from the University of Southern California and a certification in sex and relationship coaching from the Somatica Institute.

What We Talked About

In this episode, Janel Vitale joins us to discuss about desire archetypes. Janel is a certified coach that empowers partners to design their sex and relationships around their needs, desires, and boundaries. With a goal to help couples build open relationships full of win-win sex life, she is here to share about the different types of desire archetypes, how to know your category, and how it can help you fulfil your desires by finding the compatible match.

Key Highlights

[00:38] What does desire archetypes mean?

[02:22] Janel’s goal when working with partners

[04:53] Fantasy vs. real life; how to bring your fantasies into reality

[05:43] Erika’s archetype quiz results

[06:29] The six archetypes

[08:53] Finding your archetype match

[11:01] Why do most people identify themselves as subs

[12:00] What does consenting to non-consent mean?

[15:05] Janel’s professional journey and personal sexual growth

[19:30] How to find Janel

Notable Quotes

You can spin a fantasy without ever doing it in real life. And for a lot of people, that alleviates so much shame.
There’s this myth in our culture that you have to fulfil all of your partner's desires or they have to fulfil all of your desires and it’s just not true.
The sub is someone who enjoys surrendering.
The rebel is an archetype that really embraces the taboo and that doesn’t mean they embrace the taboo in real life.
The beloved is someone who wants to feel very nurtured and cared for.

There are different pressures put on different people according to gender expectations in our society so submitting and receiving sexually could be an antidote to that.
Just because you acknowledge something exists doesn't mean it has to happen.
Relationships are tough. But with the right communication and tools, we can make hard things into an opportunity for deeper understanding and intimacy.